Managers have answers; leaders ask questions.

Lawyers only ask a question (in court) when they already know the answer; leaders ask questions to which they don’t have the answer. They are curious. This curiosity pays dividends.

By asking questions, leaders engage their followers and tap into the knowledge and experience of their team. They have let go of the need to have the answer. Instead, they focus on being able to recognize the answer when they hear it. Certain types of questions hinder this curiosity, others support it.

Let’s start by looking at a couple of types of questions that hinder. The first type is closed or yes/no questions. They suffer from two main drawbacks. First, they require no thought or reflection to answer. Second, the presuppose the answer and strait jacket the search for answers. The very opposite of letting go.

The second type of question that’s not very helpful is “why”. It doesn’t help to promote understanding, since, in many cases, it can trigger defensiveness. If you don’t believe me, just observe your own inner response when someone asks you why you did or didn’t do something. The idea behind the question is to gain understanding. to do that, we need to ask other questions.

Questions that support curiosity come in different forms; they all strengthen leadership. One basic form is the open question, where we probe for more information by inviting the other person to give us information. Notice the difference between the following two questions:

1. Will  the report be finished by Friday?
2. What else do you need to do, to complete the report?

The first one is a standard yes/no question. It can be answered without the person needing to think. Since many people find it difficult to say no, you get the default answer of “yes” and are none the wiser. The second question, however, requires the person to think for a moment. As they begin to outline what else they need to do, you can begin to see whether or not you need to probe more deeply for information, or whether you need to take supportive action to help them achieve the goal.

Tomorrow, we explore another form of question that supports curiosity.

Photo: Marek Uliasz / iStockphoto

During my integrative coaching training, I experienced, for the first time, the power of a tool, “The Left-Hand Column”, based on an article by Rick Ross and Art Kleiner in “The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook”. Here’s how you can use it to help you develop some powerlessness. Choose a difficult problem from the recent past (perhaps, something from your “Powerlessness Inventory”) that involves an interaction with someone else and describe it briefly, in a few sentences.

Now divide a sheet of paper with a line down the middle; label the right-hand column “what we said” and the left-hand “what I was thinking and feeling”.Record the conversation you had in the right-hand column. If it’s about a situation in which you only held the conversation in your mind, write that down. (In either case, you may need more than one piece of paper.)

The next step is to review the conversation and, in the left-hand column, write down what you were thinking or feeling, but didn’t say.

The fourth step is to reflect on the two columns. Sometimes it helps to put the pages away for a few days and then reread. Through the distance of time, it is easier to notice and learn. Sometimes it’s helpful to discuss the pages with a coach. Some questions to help your process of inquiry:

• How have I contributed to this situation?
• What stopped me from saying what was in my left-hand column?
• Over what was I powerless?
• How might the conversation be different, if I allowed myself to be powerless? (Write down the new version of the conversation.)
• How do I intend to behave in the future?
• What do I need to support this behavior?

Give yourself some time to complete the exercise and reward yourself afterward for a big step forward.

Photo: Andreas / flickr

The first tool is the Powerlessness Inventory. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into three columns: (a) Event or Situation, (b) What I felt the need to control, and (c) Mine or Not Mine?.

In (a) list any recent situation in which you felt stressed or under a lot of pressure. Be specific. “Staff meetings” is too vague. “In last Monday’s staff meeting, when Dave told me that his project will not make its next milestone on time” is specific. Don’t worry if you have lots of examples. Most of us do! This will help you to identify patterns and themes that are helpful for you to look at.

Then go through the list and fill out column (b). For example, in the example above, “I promised my boss that this project will meet all its deadlines. In addition, I feel disappointed in Dave, since he promised me that this would run smoothly.”

Finally, column (c). To complete the example: “Not mine: I am powerless over whether the project meets its milestones. Mine: I have power over my own feelings.”

When you study (c) you will probably notice recurring themes. These are topics that you can begin to address. In particular, watch out for themes that you label as “Mine”, if they are not part of your thoughts, feelings and actions. The thoughts, feelings and actions of someone else, belong on their list, not yours. This is the beginning of some important and lasting self-learning and a few steps along the path to better leadership.

Photo: DarkFrame / flickr

The sad thing is, such skills are learnable, just not via case studies or power point. It involves being willing to take a look at yourself, to experience how you come across to others and learn how to modify your way of connecting accordingly. By the by, this also helps you to build credibility with your staff, which — as Castro-Wright points out — is key to modern leadership.

However, power point and case studies are easier to teach.

Another interesting snippet is about hiring: when hiring at management or executive level, he tends to ask people to talk about the last three or four books they’ve read, what they learned from them and what motivated the choice of book.

I’ve been reading the Bouncing Back After A Layoff blog over the past few weeks – lots of food for thought in these turbulent times. Today’s article on What Jobseekers Can Learn From Obama is an excellent reminder about thinking about where the other person’s interests lie. Barack Obama focuses on what the other person wants, not what he wants. He speaks about desired outcomes. The article  reminds me of a strategy I’ve used myself and since forgotten about:

While I was a manager at ABB, an internal vacancy as Core Technology Manager in research opened. Lots of people applied for it, almost all of them better-qualified than me. My mentor gave me the advice, write one page and tell your future bosses what you would do, if they gave you the job. So I wrote a one-pager titled, “If you give me $3 million …” (this was to be the core budget, not my salary!) and mapped out where I believed we could take the research. Three weeks later, I had a great new job!