When leaders operate under the illusion of control, it’s a sign that their ego is running the show. Sometimes this is a good thing (it reminds them to get to a meeting on time), sometimes it leaves no space for a good way to emerge to meet their current challenge.

However, this show running comes with a hefty price tag: we end up investing a lot of our mental bandwidth thinking about what has already happened — and we can no longer change – or what might happen – and we cannot truly influence. Maybe it would be more accurate to replace “thinking” by “worrying” in the previous sentence.

A simple tool to pull our thoughts back to the right here, right now, is simply to focus our attention on our breathing. This helps us to allow our leadership to emerge. Breathe deeply and slowly. In. And out. In. And out. After a few deep, slow breaths, the mental chatter drops several decibels. We begin to notice what’s happening inside. On a good day, we can enjoy a quiet mind for a moment or two. Then it becomes clear what to do or say. I was introduced to this technique about twenty five years ago, at a time when I had spent days worrying deeply about how to solve an at-the-time big problem. Within a few minutes of starting, I had no chatter in my mind for the first time in a week, and in a further thirty seconds, I could see a clear path to a solution.

A typical problem with this simple technique is that, sometimes, our thoughts don’t quieten. My experience is that that occurs when my attention stays with my thoughts instead of moving to my breathing. It’s like, when you go for a walk in the park and a puppy bounds over to you, wanting to play. If you studiously ignore him, he’ll eventually give up and go look for a different playmate.

What happens, when you ignore your puppy?

Photo: Felix Möckel / iStockphoto

That’s just how it is in the workplace, when we hold on to outcomes outside our control. By letting go, we can, in the words of Anthony De Mello, “perceive clearly; respond accurately”. We have the chance to see the situation as it is; we have the chance to access our whole mind. Then it is usually clear what needs to be done and who needs to do it.

Another benefit of this approach in leadership is that others can trust us more; they can rely on us not behaving hectically. It strengthens the bonds of trust. Those who exercise this form of leadership, report that others are willing to help them reach their goals and cooperate with them readily. In the next installment, we look at some practical ways to strengthen “perceive clearly; respond accurately”.

Photo: Jan Rihak / iStockphoto

All is peaceful this morning, inside and out. I took time to enjoy the sunrise. I can pause, while writing this, and listen to the birds twittering outside the window. I finished my speech about an hour ago, having started 30 minutes earlier. (I guess that says something about my personality Type.)

One question that’s gone through my mind (others have posed it): why marry? The answer lies in the work of St. John of the Cross, as I’ve learned it through the Enneagram. To get to the kernel of something unanswerable, we need to strip away all the wrong answers: Nada! Nada !Nada! — Not that! Not that! Not that!And from my Tai Chi teacher, Fernando Chedel: to find the right movement, try out all the wrong ones first. What’s left, fits.  So, it’s not about pregnancy, tax, excuse for a party … I could list all the nada anwsers I’ve found, but I’ll spare you the hundreds.

So, what’s left? Spirituality occurs in relationship, ours is deep, and we want to share that with you. Or as Rocky Balboa put it when asked what he saw in Adrian, his long-time partner (he only marries her in Part 2):

I dunno. She got gaps. I got gaps. Together we fill gaps.

Nora has also written an entry for today (in English), which I’ve promised only to read after the ceremony.

Now it’s time to polish my shoes. I’ll be back online on the 18th of May.

The morning began with an hour of meditation, followed by a repetitive question.

cj76530: Repetitive question for all #enneagram Types: what does development mean for you?

Repetitive Question is an excellent instrument for supporting a search for clarity. Two people sit opposite each other, one asks the same question again and again. After each answer, they say thank you and then repeat the question. On Sunday, it went for 5 minutes per direction. 10 is more usual. It can also be adapted for use as a tool to support decision-making.

cj76530: Some #enneagram 9 answers to the question: to serve, to have fun, that my thoughts are in the same place as my body. What’s your answer?

Nobody answered the tweet; perhaps they will write a comment to this blog.

The next panel was for Type 5, the Sage, Philosopher or Observer. Their focus is on the people around them, in order to protect their energy levels from excessive demands. The panel itself was fascinating, since interviewer and panelists never quite seem to manage to find the same wavelength. Thus, just the two tweets, the first of which corrected a mis-view of the interviewer.

cj76530: #enneagram 5 panel: I trust people, I just don’t need them.

cj76530: #enneagram 5 panel: to know about and have insight into others is a burden.

Michael from Florida:

@cj76530 As a Five, I say NAY! We like ALL insight, not least, of others! I am gratified knowing more of others than they do of themselves!

@cj76530 Come to think, a fave axiom of mine: Covey’s 5th Habit: “First seek to understand, then to be understood” …Hugely apt for a FIVE!

@cj76530 Saw Watchmen movie yest’dy. Its Dr.Manhattan is a peerless 5, and yes, feels burdened by humans & their tragic complexities, BUT ~

@cj76530 Watchmen’s Dr. Manhattan feels burdened with his insight into others ONLY because he has first EMBRACED this insight! …As 5s do.

The final panel of the weekend was with Type 7, also known as the Optimist or Planner. The focus is on all the possibilities that life has to offer; this helps to take attention off the pain and unpleasant and boring. The panel was unusual since the interviewer was also of Type 7. (People usually try to avoid this, since the interviewer has the same blind spots as the interviewed.)

cj76530: #enneagram 7 panel: letting go allows me to develop the energy I need so that I can trust.

cj76530: #enneagram 7 panel: it’s easier to let go, when my thoughts don’t run around like a squirrel.

cj76530: #enneagram 7 panel: I need to forgive myself that I’m afraid and unworthy.

From Emily, North Carolina:

Yep. RT @cj76530: #enneagram 7 panel: it’s easier to let go, when my thoughts don’t run around like a squirrel.

cj76530: #enneagram 7 panel: sobriety is to accept the world as it is and me as I am.

The richness of what was shared by the interviewees was in part due to:

cj76530: Today was the first time I saw a Miracle Question asked on an #enneagram panel – tip’o'the hat to Catherin

cj76530: That ends the twitterage from the German #enneagram teachers meeting. Thx for DMs, RTs and @s. Will blog the collected tweets.

Joining in from Karl, Washington, DC:

RT @cj76530: “#enneagram 5 panel: to know about and have insight into others is a burden.” I’m a five. This strikes a chord.

If you’ve made it this far through the reports and not yet commented, I’d love to hear your impressions, both of the content and also the manner in which it was reported.

As ever, at such events, the side conversations are the best; especially the misunderstandings. I had so much fun discussing different approaches to leadership development after lunch that I missed out on the Gurdjieff Movements hour. Oh, well! There’s always next year.

The first afternoon panel was with Type 1, often called the Reformer or Perfectionist. Their focus is on what’s wrong and on how to improve it. The burden eases when they begin to realize that things can be perfect, even without their intervention.

cj76530: #enneagram 1 panel: when I stop judging, I can accept what is.

cj76530: #enneagram 1: to criticise me is to reject me (unless I’m having a good day)

cj76530: Q to #enneagram 1: how do you allow yourself to be loved? Ans: I wish I were easy to love.

Type 4 is sometimes called the Artist or Individualist. Their focus is on what’s missing in their lives; they can quickly become bored or dissatisfied with what they have. So part of their development is learning to accept their differentness and to begin to embrace the ordinary.

cj76530: #enneagram 4: it’s a relief to know that I’m not the only one from another planet.

cj76530: #enneagram 4: Unspectacular feelings bring me back to Source: small is beautiful.

cj76530: #enneagram 4: the world needs someone who’s different: that’s me!

Type 2 should have been up next, but there was nobody of that Type at the weekend.  They are often called the Helper or Giver and have a great gift of being able to intuit what others need. (The board passed on my idea of sending out an emergency e-mail, to see if any 2s would jump in at the last moment.)

We passed on smoothly to the 8 panel. Type 8s are sometimes called the Boss or Protector or Champion. Often seen as the archetypal leader, they can seem larger than life. The energy and power they show usually masks an innocence they feel the need to protect from the outside world. Part of their growth path involves learning to blend the power and the innocence.

cj76530: #enneagram 8 panel: excessive spirituality is also not the answer.

cj76530: #enneagram 8 panel: Heart music brings me in genuine contact.

cj76530: #enneagram 8 panel: too much Belly energy masks the rest: antidote, drop thoughts of revenge.

cj76530: #enneagram 8 panel: respectlessness towards the world is the negative-mirror of my internal innocence.

Joining in from Iowa:

@cj76530 As an 8, I tend 2 cast things in terms of winning & losing. Growth is triumphing over my obstacles (or at least not losing 2 them)

The context for all the comments is that people were discussing about how they have developed and matured over the years: what was helpful, what was more challenging. Although the focus was not on professional life, there’s still a lot here for leaders to mull over and learn from.

On Saturday morning, we had interviews panels with Types 3, 6 and 9. First up, the 3. This Type is often called the Achiever and presents an archetypical picture of success to the world. The focus is on doing, there’s little time for being. To drop down a gear or two and begin to notice what’s going on inside, what important signals the body is giving.

cj76530: #enneagram 3: love is when I can DO something for you. (live from the panels)

cj76530: #enneagram 3: notice the impulse to act and then contain the feeling.

cj76530: #enneagram 3: it’s not always helpful to be helpful.

It’s a crude summary of a riveting 45 minute conversation, but it was enought to spark attention. The first one triggered this private response (denoted by the “D” for direct or private) from somewhere deep in Europe

D cj76530 Keep them coming – love this.

A couple of hours later, Liesl (Australia) chimed in, twice (For those unfamiliar with Twitter, @cj76530 means they’re commenting to me in public.)

@cj76530 interesting… it was this aspect that had me confused with 2 vs 3. why do you say this?

I couldn’t trace back through twibble and twitter to pinpoint this, but my guess is, it refers to the helping tweet. The first is to recall, all tweets are coming from what people say about themselves, not what I say about them. I understood the point on helping to mean that the speaker found that they sometimes helping was a form of busyness to keep contact with one’s own emotions at bay; it also reflected that – in their world-view – love is earned through action.

@cj76530 your three tweets about enneagram 3 were very helpful!! thank you!

This was sufficient encouragement for me to continue the experiment. Onward!

Type 6 is often called the Good Trooper or Devil’s Advocate. Although possessed of great courage, they often seem to focus on what could go wrong for or be threatening  to their in-group.

cj76530: From the #enneagram 6 panel: safety is a trap.

cj76530: #enneagram 6: put HAVE TO aside and allow joy and fun to emerge.

Another gem from the 6 panel that I thought might lose something without context was when one of the panelists explained how he applies St. John of the Cross’s dictum “Nada! Nada! Nada!” (“It’s not that! It’s not that! It’s not that!”) – the art of letting go of attachments, projections, anything that gets in the way of clarity.

The 9 panel was a challenge for me to report on, because I was a participant in that one myself. It’s impossible to take notes when sitting center-stage and being present to the conversation. 9s are sometimes called the Peacemaker or Mediator. We tend to avoid conflict, since it will – in our worldview – threaten, if not destroy, the relationship.

cj76530: From the #enneagram 9 panel: a bad day is when I can’t accept me as I am.

A helpful strategy for 9s to improve, is to start small, just get the ball rolling. Since we go along with others’ suggestions easily, it’s important to be clear about why we do what we do. Often, we find ourselves doing things to which we have not committed.

cj76530: #enneagram 9: for whom am I active? Me or you?

cj76530: #enneagram 9 panel: watch out that ritual doesn’t turn into trance.

That ended the first morning and a tweet from Connecticut helped my resolution not to flag

@cj76530 Enjoying your Enneagram posts. Keep ‘em coming.

cj76530: More tweets from the #enneagram panels coming up!

… in the next blog posting.

I’ve been using Twitter for a few months and so decided to twitter semi-live from the panel interviews with people of the different Types. Just to get one thing straight: I didn’t actually twitter while people were being interviewed. Just noted some twitter-sized quotes and shared them via twibble on my Nokia E71 with the twitterverse.

I was delighted to find out that the people from as far away as Australia, Canada and different parts of the  USA responded to the reposting. Thanks to all who joined in!

It started innocently enough on Friday evening:

cj76530: On my way to the annual German #enneagram teachers weekend. Cool learning guaranteed. Any Questions?

While in the train, I got tho thinking about how I might handle any questions people would send, while not believing that anyone really would. When I got to Ritschweier, where the weekend took place, my thinking had evolved. When I woke up the next morning, I decided to experiment and see where Twitter’s boundaries might lie.

Over the next few blog posts, I’ll look at the tweets, or twitter messages, I sent from the weekend. If you’d like to tune into what people are twittering about the Enneagram, click here.