Question 3: What do clients of your style most need from their developers – managers, mentors, or coaches – why do they need it, and what do coaches need to do to demonstrate this to clients of your style?

My answer: We benefit most when we receive gentle clarity. Since Style Nines don’t respond well to in-your-faceness, a nudge is more effective than a shove or a threat. Clarity helps, as we often lose sight of our goals in an ennui of priority, due to our external focus.

As a developer, you need to make sure that we have actively agreed to our goals: silence does not mean assent! It’s sometimes difficult for us to articulate what we want. If this is happening, just ask us what we don’t want. A client of mine took part in an Open Space meeting; one breakout session was run by a manager of Style Nine, who needed to define an interface for working with their supplier. For almost 30 minutes he wrapped the group in a fog of saga. As I walked by, my client asked me what he could do: I suggested he ask what the manager didn’t want in the solution. Within 90 seconds they had a complete “negative” list, which they could flip to reach the desired solution.

Even when we have agreed to goals, it’s helpful to remind us of them from time-to-time, for they will disappear from view, lost in a whirl of ideas, sensations, requests, conversations, where was I’s?

Which brings up a second facet of clarity: communicate clearly with us. Short, declarative sentences are good. It models a style other than our saga-based natural style. Keep your own focus, so that we don’t lose you in the fog of saga. And point this out to us, by commenting on the style of communication in the conversation. You can even turn it into a game and ask us to notice ourselves, when we are drifting towards sagadom.

If you’d like to see the other eight answers to this question, head over to the Enneagram Learning Portal. If you’d like to share your answer to the question, or discuss my answer, please leave a comment or trackback.

Question 2: What is the most underrated capability of clients of your style, how is it style related, what causes clients of your type to underrate this quality in themselves, and what can coaches do to help clients appreciate this quality more?

My answer: Our ability to find infinite shades of grey in the most polarized black/white situation is pretty cool. For, by being able to see all the shades, we can help the parties to rally around that shade of grey that makes the whole thing work again. This ability to see all sides of the story and help people mediate a solution comes from a lifetime of practice of being “out there” rather than “in here” – it’s easier to articulate another’s point of view, than our own; easier to notice how others feel, than how we ourselves feel. And because it is, to us, as natural as breathing, it’s difficult to imagine that others don’t have this gift also.

So, as a coach, it’s important to point this out to us when we do it. It’s a good idea for you to share how you find it difficult to see all these points of view (if that’s true for you – don’t pretend! If we notice, it can get messy.) However, since that might encourage us to stay in our Style, it is helpful if you, as coach, support us in identifying our own point of view and integrating this into the search for the most suitable shade of grey.

If you’d like to see the other eight answers to this question, head over to the Enneagram Learning Portal. If you’d like to share your answer to the question, or discuss my answer, please leave a comment or trackback.

The first question is: What is the most common coaching challenge for clients of your style, how is it related to their Enneagram style, and what coaching advice would you give to coaches who coach them?

My answer: Answering a question as galactic as this rates among the top challenges for people of Style Nine! Many Nines delay coaching until a problem has grown into the North Face of the Eiger. This is an example of our tendency to minimize problems and delay dealing with them. At the same time, deep down inside, the problem feels huge and laming. This combination relates to our Enneagram style, where we are asleep to our own needs and thus find it difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff.

This can make coaching a Nine a real challenge if the coach relies on the Nine for data – therefore, it’s important to collect it also from their supervisor, colleagues, and coworkers. Once you’ve noticed this pattern, do your best not to be mesmerized by our ability to spin stories about anything and everything. Stay focused on the issue, nudge us gently back to topic, as often as it takes. (Patience is not only a virtue, it’s also a useful tool when coaching Nines.) And help us identify some small first step that we can take. Once in motion, we can make surprisingly rapid progress. To paraphrase Lao Tse: A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first, small step.

If you’d like to see the other eight answers, head over to the Enneagram Learning Portal. If you’d like to share your answer to the question, please leave a comment or trackback.