That’s just how it is in the workplace, when we hold on to outcomes outside our control. By letting go, we can, in the words of Anthony De Mello, “perceive clearly; respond accurately”. We have the chance to see the situation as it is; we have the chance to access our whole mind. Then it is usually clear what needs to be done and who needs to do it.

Another benefit of this approach in leadership is that others can trust us more; they can rely on us not behaving hectically. It strengthens the bonds of trust. Those who exercise this form of leadership, report that others are willing to help them reach their goals and cooperate with them readily. In the next installment, we look at some practical ways to strengthen “perceive clearly; respond accurately”.

Photo: Jan Rihak / iStockphoto

Question 2: What is the most underrated capability of clients of your style, how is it style related, what causes clients of your type to underrate this quality in themselves, and what can coaches do to help clients appreciate this quality more?

My answer: Our ability to find infinite shades of grey in the most polarized black/white situation is pretty cool. For, by being able to see all the shades, we can help the parties to rally around that shade of grey that makes the whole thing work again. This ability to see all sides of the story and help people mediate a solution comes from a lifetime of practice of being “out there” rather than “in here” – it’s easier to articulate another’s point of view, than our own; easier to notice how others feel, than how we ourselves feel. And because it is, to us, as natural as breathing, it’s difficult to imagine that others don’t have this gift also.

So, as a coach, it’s important to point this out to us when we do it. It’s a good idea for you to share how you find it difficult to see all these points of view (if that’s true for you – don’t pretend! If we notice, it can get messy.) However, since that might encourage us to stay in our Style, it is helpful if you, as coach, support us in identifying our own point of view and integrating this into the search for the most suitable shade of grey.

If you’d like to see the other eight answers to this question, head over to the Enneagram Learning Portal. If you’d like to share your answer to the question, or discuss my answer, please leave a comment or trackback.

The first question is: What is the most common coaching challenge for clients of your style, how is it related to their Enneagram style, and what coaching advice would you give to coaches who coach them?

My answer: Answering a question as galactic as this rates among the top challenges for people of Style Nine! Many Nines delay coaching until a problem has grown into the North Face of the Eiger. This is an example of our tendency to minimize problems and delay dealing with them. At the same time, deep down inside, the problem feels huge and laming. This combination relates to our Enneagram style, where we are asleep to our own needs and thus find it difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff.

This can make coaching a Nine a real challenge if the coach relies on the Nine for data – therefore, it’s important to collect it also from their supervisor, colleagues, and coworkers. Once you’ve noticed this pattern, do your best not to be mesmerized by our ability to spin stories about anything and everything. Stay focused on the issue, nudge us gently back to topic, as often as it takes. (Patience is not only a virtue, it’s also a useful tool when coaching Nines.) And help us identify some small first step that we can take. Once in motion, we can make surprisingly rapid progress. To paraphrase Lao Tse: A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first, small step.

If you’d like to see the other eight answers, head over to the Enneagram Learning Portal. If you’d like to share your answer to the question, please leave a comment or trackback.

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